Sometimes, this food journey feels like I’m having to move carefully from one stepping stone to another. I can’t stand still, or I could slip and fall back in the water, but it’s hard to watch your step, keep your balance, and move forward at the same time. Claiming new ground is never easy.
But I have learned a few things along the way.
I’ve learned that writing down what you eat keeps you honest. I learned that on some days, I literally ate three times more than I needed. That’s pretty eye-opening.
I’ve learned that I can live without Diet Coke. In fact, I can live quite well with it.
I’ve learned that my body has not forgotten what hungry and enough feel like, and that food tastes really, really good when you’re hungry. Not so much when you’ve already had enough.
I’ve learned that I’m not good at eating around other people, that I still tend to eat because it’s time to, and that I’m still a card-carrying member of the Clean Your Plate Club and that I need to be careful about what winds up on that plate to begin with.
I’ve learned that exercise will not kill me and that I will probably never get enough fat-free Italian dressing.
So I’m learning. Learning to let go of some things and hold onto others. I love the idea that someday I may not have to think about all of this so much, but so far my experience says no. However, in the hope that someday I WILL be able to trust my instincts with food, I’m claiming this picture. I don’t know why, but I see freedom in this picture. I see peace, I see calm, and I see freedom.
And here’s a picture from today. I’ve also learned I can wear horizontal stripes.