Be careful what you wish for

I know the saying. I know what the saying means and I’ve lived that truth several times in my life. 

Still, I wish. 
I wish I could have a year — no, just a month — where I didn’t feel the need to juggle being mom, daughter, friend, church member, employee, sister, and responsible human being in the midst of it all. 
In fact, I would probably settle for a week or a day of that. 
I wish being an adult didn’t mean being the decision maker for so many things that impact so many others. 
I wish that other people’s words and thoughts didn’t matter to me. That I didn’t care as much. That I didn’t want to do a good job. 
Somedays, I wish I could be ok with being the person who just shows up. Punches a clock. Warms a seat. 
But that’s not me. It matters to me. People matter to me. Doing a good job and being responsible both matter to me.
I mess up. Make mistakes. Don’t always communicate well. Misunderstand. Assume. All those other things we humans do. I don’t like it, but I do. 
Because that’s life. It isn’t always easy — in fact, it rarely is — but it’s life.  
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