finding the balance

Here are some beautiful things I’ve recently discovered:

  • It’s possible to have a true partner in growing your faith
  • It’s possible to discuss money or other family issues from places of responsibility instead of blame.
  • It’s possible to share difficult things with a partner without the concern that judgment will follow
  • It’s possible to feel safe and vulnerable at the same time.

What I didn’t quite realize was that in finding a safe place, the part of my psyche that has kept several difficult things over there has begun to relax.  This is a good thing.  Since it’s happening in a good, safe place, I can believe that the strength and ability to process those things will be available.

Part of this processing will be through the body image coaching I’m doing with Abby.  Just look at that beautiful smile!  Wouldn’t you love to have an ongoing conversation with her?  We’ve just begun to process some of my internal dialog, but I am already incredibly thankful for the insight I’ve gained.

I’ve realized that I worry.  A lot.  I worry and I lose my focus on what’s important.  I’m setting some new goals for how I spend my time in order prioritize what matters:  my time spent with God, my marriage and my family are at the top of the list.  Work-wise, I’ve gotten better about prioritizing my lists of things to do.  I also released some responsibilities to someone else in order to focus more fully on what I was originally hired for.

I want very much to do the things that feed my soul.  It’s hard to find the time, but as Abby asked me, “what is the cost of not doing them?”  The cost of not prioritizing is frittering away time and become even more frustrated by the list of things to do.  The cost of not feeding my soul is spiritual, emotional, and physical exhaustion.

It isn’t selfish to say no and set boundaries.  It’s hard, but it isn’t selfish.

I’m thankful for this season of life that is allowing me to learn about myself at deeper levels.

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