It seems that when I updated my phone, many of my pictures went to live in the cloud and my WordPress app can’t find the ones I took of my art therapy projects. I’ll retake them and continue the posts, though.
Be warned, though. At least one will not be pretty. I don’t meant that it won’t be aesthetically pleasing, I mean that there’s nothing pretty in the picture. There’s a lot of anger. A lot of hard words. A lot of bad memories that continue to haunt me. It’s the day that the prompt was to draw my inner critic and let me tell you: my inner critic is a vicious and persistent one. Some of her words that I heard in person years ago still stay with me and surface on a regular basis.
They still tint much of what I think and do and hear.
Another interesting technology thing that’s currently part of my life is that for some reason, my computer no longer automatically uploads pictures from my phone when I plug it in to charge. I’ve always considered myself to be fairly tech savvy, so having both of these issues at once is driving me a bit crazy.
In lieu of an art therapy update, I’ll share a bit of my thought process from earlier today:
It’s Tuesday. I should go to yoga. That would mean pick D up, drop him off at the house and go straight to yoga then come home and fix supper real fast and then get to work by 7:00. I don’t want to go to yoga. It’s not that I don’t like yoga – I love yoga and I know that I will feel amazing after it’s done, but I don’t like being rushed and I don’t really want to leave the house again because I’m feeling a bit reclusive this afternoon. But I should go to yoga. I paid for it. I told people I would. I should. I could do my fat people yoga at home but no I can’t because D will be home after his 30 minute lesson and I don’t really want to do yoga in front of him. But I want to be fit. I want to . . . what do I want? I want to be proud of myself. Which choice would make me feel proud of myself? You know what? Going for a walk would make me feel proud of myself. It would get me outside, but not make me be around people, and it would work my body and help me feel strong. You know what? That’s what I really want. I want to feel strong and proud. I don’t care so much about skinny. I want to be strong and proud of my choices.
So I did it. I went for a walk. I felt the sun on my skin and I listened to Alabama Shakes and Brittany told me to Hold On! and I felt strong and I was proud of myself for doing something instead of giving into the headachey reclusive me that just wanted to stay home and curl up and keep watching Criminal Minds.
So what did you do today that made you feel strong? What did you do today that made you feel proud of yourself?